We are all likely to have heard the saying that behind every successful man is a woman. But it's not just successful men that we stand behind. Actually, in one way or another, we stand behind them all. There is a quote by Mr. Tsakhia Elbegdorj, President of Mongolia, made during his speech at the 67th Session of the United Nations General Assembly, which states"Women are the backbone of the family and the bedrock of a nation."I believe this to be true, especially in the black community. Despite what we are told, we are the most influential part of OUR community. We have more power than society or we give ourselves credit for.
We are the mothers, the guardians, the nurturers. We are the wives, the partners, the help meet. We are the sisters, the aunties, the friends. And when we accept mediocrity from the men in our lives we do more damage than they ever could because we TELL them with our acceptance that it is ok to be below average. When we pacify our sons and make excuses for their behaviour (at any age) we are telling them it is ok!
When we know that our brother or friend is heading down the wrong path and sit and say nothing, we are telling them it is ok! When we have intimate relationships with so called "gangsters" we are telling them it is ok to participate in antisocial behaviour. When we accept money and material gestures, we are telling them it is ok to live lives of crime. When we allow them to repeatedly disrespect us in relationships, we are telling them it is ok to be unexceptional. But it is not ok. It is never ok to be the co-signatory in the demise of our black men.